I stopped coloring my hair a few years ago. That was a huge decision that took months of mental preparation. The monthly routine and expense of keeping my tresses dark and silky had become more maintenance than I wanted to deal with. The chemicals I was putting on my head and the fumes I was inhaling into my lungs were also making me feel sick. Yet, underneath all of those years of cheap box color there was beautiful white hair. Who knew? Now in the event of a world crisis collapse, I won’t have to worry that my color won’t be in stock at the local Walgreens.
In a post-apocalyptic world, there will be a multitude of challenges I will have to face. The weather app on my phone won’t work, I will need to read a barometer. There will be no more eBay, I must be able to barter and trade chemicals; like bug repellent, motor oil and salt. My little vegetable garden in the back yard will have to increase its yield, so I should also stock up on Miracle Grow; another favored chemical. There are so many chemicals I have become dependent on over the years; like moisturizer, toenail fungus remover and White Zinfandel.
My grandmother always said she felt naked without her lipstick. She would then reach inside her huge brassiere, pull out a tube of ‘Perfect Pink’, apply it to her lips and then stuff it back inside along with all of her other treasures like her change purse, huge house keys and a flask of scotch. The storage capacity of her brassiere reminded me of Mary Poppins carpet bag.
When the world has gone to Hell, I will tend to my little vegetable garden. The sun will beat down on my frayed straw hat. I will use the sleeve of my faded cotton dress to blot the beads of sweat as they travel down my dusty face. I will gaze out at the dry desolate horizon, looking for any signs of rain; and my hands with the dirty fingernails will pull a tube of “perfect pink” from my brassiere. I too, would feel incomplete without it.
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